Is it truly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
In Larken’s case, he isn’t so sure. He did love someone, then he lost them, and it hurt like hell. Now, Larken has to figure out how he’s going to get over it and find love once more. Then again, does he even want to care for someone so strongly for a second time? He’s had his heart broken once, and he fears it’s too soon to open up to someone else. But how can he really deny the new feelings that are growing inside him?
Khale, on the other hand, has yet to fall in love at all. It’s something he’s wanted his whole life, and now he finds that it may be within his grasp. Khale could love Larken with all his heart—he can see himself with the warrior for the rest of his life. But Khale also yearns for Vardel to finally accept him as his son, and this wanting misguides him, leading him into trouble. Now he needs Larken’s help—he needs the man he’s fallen in love with to save him, but he fears his secrets and possible betrayal will have ruined his chance of ever finding happiness.
Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of violence.
Publisher's Note: This book is best read in sequence as part of a series.
General Release Date: 17th April 2015
After opening his eyes, Larken blinked several times to clear his vision. Glancing around the room, he knew right away that it wasn’t his own. Memories from earlier in the day came flooding back.
Tessa’s smooth skin and Corben’s calloused hands. Soft touches and fierce kisses. Hard muscles and luscious curves. Her cool breath against his skin. The tight heat of Corben’s channel clamped down around his dick as he thrust into him.
He fed from the both of them—the man’s blood finally giving him the release his body begged for.
Blinking a few more times, Larken tried to remember what had happened after that, but he couldn’t. He must’ve fallen asleep shortly after, which was a surprise considering that rest rarely came to him these days.
“Well, good evening. Did you sleep well?”
Rolling onto his back, he looked across the room to Tessa, who stood by her wardrobe. Had he slept well? Not really. “Yeah, sure.” While stretching his large frame, he moved his arms across the bed and realized something. “Where’s Corben?”
Tessa smirked at him. “He left shortly after you fell asleep. You kept trying to push him out of the bed.” She let out a soft giggle. “You tried pushing me out, too, but I just pushed back. This is my bed after all. I wasn’t about to let you kick me out of it.”
Larken chuckled at her remark. Tessa was a tough woman, and he was glad that she had survived the invasion the coven had suffered two weeks prior. Slowly, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. A chill ran through him from the cold air in the room. The mid December winter was becoming harsh—the temperatures were lower than normal, but at least that kept the snow away. With the long travels he would be taking this evening, though, he’d rather have the snow.
He didn’t turn to look at Tessa as she sat down beside him.
“You look a little tired,” she commented.
He still couldn’t believe he’d actually slept. He considered himself lucky if he even managed to get an hour of rest a day. Every time he closed his eyes, all he dreamed about was him. Larken sighed when his chest tightened at just the thought of him. He hated that Zane still got to him the way he did, but Larken was finding ways around it, finding ways to push those thoughts aside—to make himself not care. Granted, others might not think his methods were the best to go with, but he didn’t care what anybody else thought.
A delicate hand came up to rest on his shoulder. “Maybe you should sleep some more.”
He didn’t acknowledge Tessa’s suggestion. He was pretty sure it was the feeding that had allowed him to rest so peacefully, and it wasn’t as if he had time to do that again. Getting up, Larken walked over to the chair that held his clothes. He remained quiet as he dressed, but was well aware of Tessa getting closer to him.
“You know,” she spoke softly behind him, “after all of the years that we’ve known each other, I like to consider us as friends.” She stepped nearer and rested her cheek on his back as she leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “If you ever want to talk about…” She hesitated when he tensed. “Well, if you ever just want to talk, I’m here to listen.”
She came around to stand before him and graced him with a light kiss to his cheek. Looking down at her, he saw the worry in her eyes. He tried to smile, but had a feeling he hadn’t been too successful at it.
“I have to go,” he finally said.
Tessa rolled her eyes and walked away mumbling, “Stubborn vampire.”
Larken truly did smile that time and followed her toward the door. He stopped in the doorway and kissed her cheek as she had done to him. “Thank you.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah.” What playfulness she held faded away. “Take care of yourself, all right?”
He wanted to respond, to assure her that he would, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say it.
Would it be lies if I did?
Seeming to understand his hesitation, Tessa just smiled again and gave him a light push out into the hall. “Go on. Get out of here.” Brief hatred flared in her eye. “Make sure that traitor burns.”
He nodded in agreement then headed off to his room. Tonight he and Keddrick would start their travels to Allengard, where the vampire council was located, and hand Varek over to them to serve him justice for his treachery. The steel box that they’d be transporting him in was sturdy enough to hold Varek at his full strength, but not wanting to take any chances, they’d waited two weeks, weakening the man by barely giving him any blood.
Once Larken reached his room, he went straight to the bathroom to wash off the sweet smell of perfume and dried semen from his partners. He rubbed his eyes as he walked back into his room. He might have gotten sleep, but exhaustion still overwhelmed him. As he stood in front of his wardrobe, the small wooden box on the corner of his desk kept catching his eye. He had told himself that he wasn’t going to bring it with him to Allengard, but what he’d taken earlier that day was well out of his system, and the draw of the drug had him slowly inching his way over to his desk. Opening the lid to the box, he eyed its contents. Larken really did need to be in his absolute right mind tonight, but he just felt so…free…when he took it. He needed that. He needed to feel the rush that numbed his emotions. He wanted it. But should he do it?
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Larken closed his eyes in frustration, yet images of Zane flashing through the darkness had him opening them back up again. Nope, he couldn’t go without. He needed it. He needed to take it all away.
Larken picked one of the plump licus leaves out of the box and put it in his mouth. He hesitated for a moment, but picturing Zane again had him biting down on the black foliage, its bitter juices flowing over his tongue. After swallowing the rest of the leaf whole, he waited.
It didn’t take long for the effects of the drug to kick in. It coursed through his body at an incredible speed. His toes curled against the fur rug beneath his feet as his hands fisted at his sides. Moments passed as his body twitched, trying to fight against the opiate, but he just took in deep breaths and pushed the resistance aside. Finally, he was able to breathe normally again. The buzz humming through him made him smile. He’d never felt more alive, more awake, more uncaring in his whole life than he did when he took the licus.
The little leaves have been the only thing that’s gotten me through since…
Larken shook his head. He didn’t even want to think about it.
Smiling now at the incredible feeling running through him, he finished getting ready then headed downstairs.
He paced the entry hall as he waited for Varek to be brought up—Keddrick was already outside readying the horses and carriage to transfer their prisoner. He wasn’t sure if it was the licus making him feel antsy or if the men truly were taking too long to bring Varek up, but he was ready to go down and get the vampire himself if they didn’t hurry up. Crossing the room a few more times, Larken then spun around, ready to head downstairs, but froze in place when he saw Zane standing there.
Hey everyone, I'm Jen and I'm an author of M/M erotic romance. I love M/M romance, both reading and writing it—seriously, what's better than a sexy man... Two sexy men! You can't go wrong there. Though I do dabble in a little bit of M/F romance, my main passion will always be smutting it up with men, men and more men. I try to dedicate as much of my free time to writing as I can—ha! What free time?—but if I’m not typing away on my laptop, you’ll find me with my nose buried in a book, or with my loving fiancé debating on what movie to watch and the never-ending back and forth decision of what to have for dinner. I love spending time with my family and fiancé, cuddling with my dog and two cats, and laughing as much as possible—’cause I like to think I'm funny!
Some little tidbits about me are—I love animals of all sorts, I have a really big sweet-tooth, and I've been told I like to talk with my hands (insert hand gestures here).