Can Benjamin trust his feelings for Tate, a man who reminds him of his ex-husband? And should Tate trust Benjamin when he's hiding information that could destroy the growing love between them?
Benjamin Bailey, a New York City librarian, lives for his eleven-month-old son, Jack. But that is threatened when his lying, spiteful ex-husband Justin convinces his friend Katrina, the woman who carried their baby, that Benjamin is a neglectful father and was a cheating spouse. Katrina sues for temporary custody of Jack for every other weekend.
On the eve of the first weekend Jack is to spend with Katrina, a charming and handsome man, Tate Monroe, visits the library. Due to a misunderstanding, Tate learns Benjamin is gay and he begins to flirt with the flustered librarian. Dazzled by the magnetic stranger, Benjamin accepts a dinner invitation for the following evening. Based on Benjamin’s experience with his ex-husband, he assumes Tate is another attractive player who is interested only in fun devoid of responsibility…so he withholds the information that he is a single father.
In between sneaking check-ins on his son’s welfare, Benjamin is treated to the compliments and attention—both emotional and physical—that he’s been deprived of. Benjamin tries to fight his growing attraction to a man he feels is interested only in a quick fling, despite Tate’s actions that signal he may be feeling the same.
General Release Date: 9th July 2024
It wasn’t the kind of day I expected to be life-changing. Then again, when did I, Benjamin Bailey—a thirty-four-year-old librarian working in a quiet corner of New York City—ever anticipate such things? My job was uneventful, sometimes mundane, and required little interaction. There were library patrons, of course, but with each passing year, there were fewer. Books were no longer the main draw. Most people visited to search the internet, read a periodical or to use the public restrooms. I sometimes wished the stereotype about library bathrooms was true and I could watch some good-looking men share knowing looks before they headed to the john. While I would never participate and risk my career, it would be a titillating distraction envisioning what was happening behind the lavatory door. But no, our little public service building only attracted men and women seeking intellectual stimulation or bladder relief.
I was typing a response to an angry patron who was demanding we remove a book about transgender studies from the library, rewriting my note multiple times to remove words and phrases that might be deemed unprofessional. What I wanted to communicate was that she was a bigoted Neanderthal who didn’t have the right to dictate what others could read. I forced myself to hold back—I needed to be diplomatic. That meant I also needed to refrain from calling her a pot-stirrer, considering how determined she must have been to find a book that was on one of two shelves labeled ‘LGBTQ Studies.’
“Excuse me,” a female voice from the other side of my reception desk wall echoed.
An attractive older woman who stood more than six feet in height was looking my way. Tall women always made me self-conscious of my own height, which was a mere five-foot-nine. I was glad I was seated. “Yes, may I help you?”
She smiled and her expression struck me as mischievous. “Yes, you may. I’ve come here many times. I love this library. It’s large enough to find amazing stuff, but small enough to be charming and accessible. I’m Andrea, by the way.” Andrea reached a long arm over the dark mahogany wood partition to shake my hand. The many bracelets on her wrist clinked together as she did so.
In all my years of employment at the library, it was the first time a patron had introduced themselves, let alone shaken my hand.
“Hi,” I responded. When she remained quiet for a moment with an expectant expression, I added, “I’m Benjamin.”
She clasped her hands together. “Oh, it’s so nice when someone uses their longer given name. My daughter’s name is Alexandra, but she insists on being called Allie or Alex. If I had wanted to name her Allie or Alex, that’s what I would have done.”
“Um, sure. So, you said you needed my assistance?”
Her smile dipped for a second. “Well, this is going to seem weird…but here goes. When I’ve come here, I’ve noticed you. I mean that in a good way. You’re such a nice-looking man, and I’m sure you’re smart because whenever I see you, your nose is buried in a book or you’re staring at a computer screen. Also, I have this theory that a man who works as a librarian must be a gentle soul, and I think that’s very becoming in a world full of insecure alpha males.”
Whatever flattery I was feeling was eclipsed by anxiousness that Andrea was about to ask for a date. Considering she looked to be seventy or older, I at least had to admire her confidence. “Oh, um, I’m not…”
Andrea’s eyes went wide and her mouth opened a bit with horror. “Benjamin, I wasn’t hitting on you.”
“Oh…”
“I mean, trust me, in my day, I would have. I never believed a woman needs to wait to be asked. Then again, I was a bit of a rebel and a fierce fighter for women’s rights. Well, I still am. But one thing I’ve never been is an idiot. I know I’m well past the age of a woman who’d interest you. Besides, I’m married.” She paused. “I may be a nonconformist, but I’m not an adulteress. What about you?”
“Huh? Am I an adulterer?”
“No…are you married?” Andrea asked.
I shook my head. “Uh…I’m divorced.”
“Ah!” she exclaimed. “Everyone from your generation is divorced! Alexandra is divorced, too. You know what the problem is, don’t you? Young people today focus too much on the physical. You think you’re in love because you see a nice pair of tits.”
“Andrea, you…we’re in a library,” I stammered, unsure what I had done to invite this woman’s crazy observations. I slid my black-framed glasses up my nose, unsure of what else to say.
Andrea remained oblivious to my discomfort. “Of course, we hooked up back in my day, too. Free love and all that.” Andrea smiled at the recollection. “But hell, I didn’t marry a guy because he was good on a mattress. People back then married someone who had common interests and values.”
When I had married, I had thought my husband and I had similar interests and values, too. I wondered if my generation was just better at deceit and hidden agendas.
“I’m glad your marriage worked for you,” I stated, uncertain if my tone was patronizing. “Anyway, I need to finish this response to someone who complained, so…”
“About you? Why? What did you do?” Andrea asked. The way she leaned in and grinned, I could tell she was hoping for juicy gossip.
I flushed. “I didn’t do anything! Some woman complained about a book we have on transgender studies and is threatening a campaign against the library if we don’t remove it.”
“Twat,” Andrea spat. I opened my mouth with surprise. “Oh, not you…the hag with the stick up her ass.”
I still found Andrea peculiar, but I also found myself laughing. “Well, I should get back to it…”
“Wait,” she interjected. “I haven’t told you yet why I was buttering you up with compliments.”
“Okay…”
“I told Alexandra about you during one of my visits with her. And don’t worry, I understand that physical attraction is important. Take my word for it, she’s very beautiful because she’s the spitting image of me at that age. People mistook me for Audrey Hepburn. I know that you and she would have similar interests. Alexandra is a liberal, as I can tell you are from your reaction to the hag. She’s very successful and her townhouse is filled with books. Imagine how you’d be able to bond over the interesting things you two read.”
I hadn’t exhaled during Andrea’s description because I had been trying to interrupt. I took advantage when Andrea paused. “Andrea, I’m flattered but I’m not interested in dating.”
Andrea pouted. “Too soon after your divorce? Don’t become a hater of women because of one bad experience, Benjamin.”
“I don’t hate women,” I countered. “I just like…men.” I glanced down at the desk, causing my glasses to slip back down my nose a bit.
When I looked back up, I noticed Andrea’s face had gone white. “But you told me you were divorced.” Then her pallor changed to red. “Oh, you’re divorced from a man, aren’t you? Look at me, falling into generational assumptions. God, just wrap me in a Confederate flag and ship me to a Klan cookout because that’s where I belong for my backward thinking. I’m sorry, Benjamin.”
I smiled. Andrea was beginning to grow on me. “It’s okay.”
Once Andrea collected herself, she leaned over the partition, her many bangles sliding down to her wrist. “Okay, so Alexandra’s out. Darn! I was so hopeful for the two of you. Well, is there a nice boy in the picture then?”
I didn’t have the heart to shut her down, even though I wasn’t keen on sharing personal information. I could tell that Andrea was harmless enough and had taken a liking to me. I swiveled my chair to face her head-on. “No. I meant it when I said I’m not looking to date anyone.”
“Your ex crushed you that bad, huh?” she pressed.
I pursed my lips. “He disappointed me. Contrary to what you think about my generation, I married him thinking we had a lot in common. I thought we had the same goals. I wish I had realized we didn’t before we tied the knot. Anyway, he’s been out of my life for several months now, and I’m surprised how little I miss him.”
Andrea smiled. “That’s a good thing. It’s like I say to Alexandra, life is too short to wallow in the past. Create new happiness. But why can’t that involve a man? I’m sure there are nice guys out there. In this city, it might be easier for you to find one of them than it will be for my daughter.”
“It’s complicated,” I replied. Expanding on the reasons with Andrea would be too much. Friendly as she might be, she still wasn’t a friend. I wasn’t about to babble my rationale and history to a stranger. “Listen, maybe someday…but that day isn’t today.”
I saw the corner of her mouth quirk up. “Well, if marriage is off the table, then you can just hook up. Free love and all that still works in modern times, too.” She winked. “You do still have sex, don’t you?”
My eyes flew open. “Andrea, this isn’t the place….”
“Don’t be a prude like old Miss Twat who soiled her adult diapers when she saw a book,” Andrea warned.
I snickered at the image. “Okay, speaking of her, I should get back to typing my response.”
“I can take a hint.” She smirked, backing away from the partition. I wanted to tell her that she couldn’t, considering I had dropped hints a few times already. “But I’m here a lot if you ever want to chat. And even though you shouldn’t need my assistance, I can scout out the attractive men that come here and send them your way.”
“What? No, don’t do that,” I implored. “I’ll get fired if my boss thinks you’re pimping me out at work.”
Andrea was unphased. “Please. I’m not an amateur at discretion. I had a closeted homosexual friend in college, and I found him all his hook-ups and his secret never came out. Listen, if I strike up a conversation here in the library with a nice-looking man, and I can tell that he leans a certain way, I’ll suggest to him that he check out the cute librarian. I’ll let him know that I have it on good authority that you play for the same team. Easy-peasy.”
“Please don’t,” I begged, pushing my glasses up my nose. “I don’t think I should…”
Andrea held up a hand to silence me. “You can turn anyone away, Benjamin. No harm, no foul.” Before I could protest, she waved a hand good-bye, jangling the many bracelets again. “I’m going to scan the place to see if there’s someone else who’d be good for my daughter. Ta-ta.”
True to her word, she hustled toward the rear of the building with eyes darting, using the library as a brick-and-mortar version of Tinder and Grindr.
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